Re-framing Technique To Manage Emotions

The late Stephen R. Covey in his book '7 Habits of Highly Effective People' stated that 'between stimulus and response there is a gap'. This implies that we have choices when it comes to the changes that we experience in the environment.

Some of the changes in the environment requires us to express emotional responses. As we have experienced many times in our lives, emotional responses can be positive or negative. Negatives emotions such as rage, anger, envy and others in the long run hamper our growth, destroy relationships and cause us to be less productive.

The opposite is true for positive emotions such as being happy, energized and motivated can propel us to greater heights. We experience more fulfilling life, are more productive and have rewarding relationship with others.

One of the technique to manage our emotions thus making us be more in control is Re-framing. What is re-framing? It is basically giving new meaning or interpretation for a negative event or experience that switch our emotions from negative to positive.

For example, if a car suddenly overtake us in a dangerous manner causing us to slam the brake, our natural and spontaneous response is to be angry and start cursing the driver. The worst part happens if we 'carry' the anger and vent it to our colleagues and family members long after the incident has happened.

Harnessing the power of choice, we can now re-frame the experience by saying to ourselves that maybe the driver is having an emergency and is on the way to the hospital. Thus, we have switched our emotions from being angry to that of a calmer state. We may even sympathize with the driver.

The good thing about this technique is that we can  use it in any circumstances and it can be done instantaneously in seconds. So the next time you experience something negative or unpleasant, remember that you have a choice on how to response in a more positive manner using the re-framing technique. Start practicing it today.      

Technique To Give Effective Feedback

Giving feedback is an important task for many executives and managers. Poor feedback causes subordinates to be unclear of the improvements they need to do, creates misunderstanding and can lead to poor job performance.

Good feedback needs to be done in a clear and well-structured manner. Using the acronym OILS, below are the steps that we can use to give well-structured feedback to our team members.

Observation. After stating the purpose of the meeting, we can start by giving our observation of the overall performance of our team members. Be specific and accurate as possible. For example, we can say, "Last week, I noticed that you were 1 hour late for work on Monday, Thursday and Friday" rather than just saying "Last week you were late for work".

Impact. The next step is to inform our team members of the impact or consequence of the observed behaviour. In the example above, we can continue by saying, "When you were late, I had to ask Mary to cover for you and this is not fair to her as she has her own job to do".

Listen. Next is to give the opportunity for our team members to explain the reasons behind the incident or scenario. At this stage, we listen actively for their explanation. If needed, we can ask open-ended questions to better understand the situation.

Suggestion. The last step is to offer suggestion on how to solve the situation or problem. To create a sense of ownership, we can first ask our team members for their suggestion to improve the situation and if needed, we offer our own suggestion.