21 Habits That Destroy Interpersonal Relationship.

I have just finished reading (twice) the classic book written by world renowned executive coach, Marshall Goldsmith titled 'What Get You Here Won't Get You There'. In the book he listed 21 habits that we might not be aware of that can potentially destroy our relationship with our colleagues and family members. As you go through the list below, try to reflect on yourself. As they say, awareness is the beginning of change.

The 21 habits are;

1. Winning too much - the need to win at all costs and at all situations.
2. Adding too much value - adding our 2 cents into every discussions
3. Passing judgement - the need to rate and judge others using our standard
4. Making destructive comments
5. Starting with 'No', 'But' or 'However'
6. Telling the world how smart we are
7. Speaking when angry
8. Negativity
9. Withholding information
10. Failing to give proper recognition
11. Claiming credit that we don't deserve.
12. Making excuses
13. Clinging to the past
14. Playing favorites
15. Refusing to express regret
16. Not listening
17. Punishing the messenger
18. Failing to express gratitude
19. Passing the buck
20. Excessive need to be 'me'.
21. Goal obsession - winning at all costs.

 

Tips For Effective Mentoring (Part 2)

Not all can be good mentors. Reasons for poor mentoring program sometimes lies partly because wrong people are chosen to mentor others.

What are the characteristics of good mentors? Below are some of them that we can use when we choose who to mentor others.

1. Has the right experience.
2. Willing and able to mentor.
3. Committed to help others.
4. Possess good listening skills.
5. Comfortable with people.
6. Able to ask great questions.
7. Willing to work the extra mile to serve others.
8. Believe in the potential of others.
9. Patient and kind.
10. Has basic mentoring skills.

The list above is not complete. When we choose a mentor, we need to remind ourselves that in the eyes of their mentees, mentors are leaders. Are we choosing the right person to lead others?